A Life Less Ordinary
by SunRei
Summary: When Lois makes a life altering decision, she needs a certain friend to help her out. Completed!
1. Chapter 1

**A Life Less Ordinary  
**writtenas Sunkist  
Originally posted to Zoomway's MsgBd April 2002

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* * *

_Clark looked at his partner's desk. For the fifth time in the last two weeks, Lois had left the office suddenly without an explanation. Today, they had been in the middle of a discussion about their current story when she had paused to look down at her watch. Her eyes had widened and he'd picked up a slight increase in her pulse. She'd moved to stand up, pushing her chair back into Clark's legs where he'd been leaning over her shoulder reading her computer screen. 

"Sorry, I've gotta run. Can you finish this up and LAN it to Perry?" she'd asked, the tone of her voice making it more of a statement than a question. At his confused look, she'd patted his arm, grabbed her purse, and headed to the elevator while rummaging for her keys.

He knew he didn't have the right to question her disappearances when he was the master of them, but he didn't know if he should be worried or not. Not that _not_ worrying about her was ever an option.

After she left, he'd sat at her desk and finished proofing their article before sending it to Perry. Now, he was at his desk, with a creased brow, wondering where his partner had run off to. The first couple of times she'd pulled the disappearing act, he'd attributed it to her having a meeting with a source. They normally shared all the information they gathered, so he'd decided to be patient and wait for her disclosure, but it never came. What was so frustrating about the whole situation was that she never supplied an explanation, and he didn't have the nerve to ask for one.

Clark looked over to the elevator as he felt her enter the newsroom. It was amazing to him that she had become so ingrained in his person with a sixth sense connection. He didn't think it had anything to do with superpowers, because this depth of awareness only worked with her. Sure, he could tell when people walked into a room, or when an appliance was on, but he normally didn't know who it was before looking.

Lois nodded curtly at the colleagues she passed on her way to her desk. Flipping her hair and taking a breath, she looked up toward him, smiling as she sat down. Unfortunately, her partner wasn't fooled by her false exuberance. He saw that her attitude was muted when he looked into her eyes. Lois softened as she saw the question creep onto Clark's face. He walked over and perched on the edge of her desk.

"You OK?" Clark asked expectantly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Lois replied as she entered the password into her computer to stop the screensaver. When he didn't move, she looked up at him.

"OK, better question," he said tilting his head. "I can see you're not fine. What's wrong?"

"I don't feel like talking about it now, but when I'm ready, I'll let you know."

"Promise?" He held up his pinkie and grinned at her.

Lois couldn't help but to laugh as she curled her own pinkie around his. "Promise," she said with a smirk.

Clark turned his palm upward. "Spit on it?"

Lois pushed him playfully, in response to which he stood up, holding both palms up to her in surrender. Smiling, he said, "Okay. Good enough."

Lois watched him saunter back to his desk, and sighed, leaning back into her chair. Even after a day like today, he was able to lighten her mood.

* * *

Two weeks later, the two partners were walking through Centennial Park after work. They had just completed a grueling investigation into the after-hours workings of the state senator. Long hours and worked weekends had uncovered the illegal use of state funds, which were being used in non-delegated private accounts. This afternoon, the police had seized the office, and Lois and Clark got their exclusive. The article was typed and sent just in time for a brief spot in the late edition. The Planet would use it to allude to to the series of stories that would begin the next day. 

Now lazily strolling after a celebratory stop at the ice cream parlor, Lois slipped her arm around Clark's elbow and sighed happily.

"Hmmm, an award winning series of stories, chocolate ice cream, a beautiful clear evening when I'm actually outside and not in front of a computer... This is bliss!" She smiled up at her partner. "Did I mention the chocolate ice cream?"

They both laughed and continued walking. After passing the playground, Lois let go of Clark's arm and walked toward a nearby bench. Clark followed her, sat down, and leaned back on the bench to gaze up at the sky.

"Clark, I want to have a baby."

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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* * *

_

Clark looked at her sharply, with one brow raised.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm serious. And I've been thinking about it for a long time."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the rash of celebrities who are having babies lately, would it?"

"This is not a fad! Look, I never was one to play with dolls or play 'house' when I was little. I think it was because I knew it wasn't real. I have always tried to stay grounded. I didn't have time for dreams. But now, I want something real."

Confused at where this all was going, Clark turned his attention to the grassy expanse in front of him.

"I know I'm not making much sense, but I know this is real. I mean, it scared me at first, and I thought I was just going through one of those down times, or something," she added, quietly.

"Lois, this isn't an attempt to have someone who will love you unconditionally is it? Because you know that doesn't work. Babies need a lot more than they can give. It's not something that you just decide to do, like one day; 'I want to be a mother,' and the next day you change your mind. I mean, have you thought about your job? With the hours you work, how could you possibly think that you have time? According to you, you don't even have time to date! Maybe you should start with a dog first."

For a brief second, her eyes narrowed as her instincts told her to get defensive, but her mind reminded her that this was her best friend talking. She knew he was only bringing this up, not to hurt her, but to protect her; even from herself, if need be.

"I don't want a dog," she replied simply. "And I know that it seems crazy... I can't even fully explain it to myself, but something in me is saying that this is the time. You said it yourself; I don't have time to date. To be honest, it's not really that. I think that I'm afraid... but not of getting hurt. You have all these people that come in and out of your life, and you're looking for the right person. So you start a relationship, and when something isn't right, you quit. Then the cycle starts over. The thing is, you might end up passing the right person by because you are looking for the wrong thing!"

She took a breath and glanced at Clark before continuing. "Anyway, I think that going through all of that, I could miss the chance. I never thought I wanted kids before, but I do... At least one that is. I don't want to not have tried. I know that my work schedule will change, and my priorities might go through a mini-revolution, but it won't be overnight. I'll get used to it over time, I guess. Not everybody can plan things out in advance," Lois finished, doubtfully.

"So how are you planning to do it?" His eyes widened with shock as another thought dawned on him, "Or have you already done it!"

"No!" she laughed, amused by his anxiety over her situation. "I've decided to do the artificial insemination procedure."

"What? Why? You could adopt... it would save you the nine months of water gain."

Lois was silent for a minute, preoccupied with studying her hands. "Remember when I had all of those appointments a few weeks ago?"

Clark nodded, and she sighed before she continuing. "I was working with a social worker. We were going through all of the paperwork and I was scheduled to have a hearing. It wasn't like a real courtroom scene or anything; just a justice's office, but the effect of it was just as final. He was familiar with my past... run-ins with danger, I guess you can call them. Anyway, for that and other reasons, they found me unfit. I found out that day..." she broke off, sighing again.

She didn't need to explain any further, as he remembered the day she was talking about.

Feeling that she was in danger of acknowledging the true extent of the pain that the judgment had caused her; she smiled and took a different tone.

"Me- unfit! Can you believe it? Now what about a mother who drinks all the time, and leaves her 13 year old daughter to take care of her 9 year old sister? I was practically a mother then! Do you think I'm unfit?" She asked, hoping to sound light.

Clark heard the uncertainty through the façade, and looked her in the eye. When he had her full attention, without wavering he said, "You'd be great."

Lois sighed at his earnesty and looked away, swiping at something on her cheek.

"Besides, I think that the nine months would be helpful. It would give me time to prepare, and get used to the whole thing."

"It'll be hard finding a husband after... I mean, it'll be hard doing it by yourself," he said.

"Oh, I know!" she said, ignoring what he was going to say at first. "It was bad enough that I had an absentee father, but at least I knew who he was. I can only imagine how hard it is to grow up not knowing that much."

She reached out for Clark's hand as she spoke. Last year, he'd told her that he was adopted and never knew his birth parents. "I wouldn't want to do that if I could help it. Which is why I've chosen another solution."

Running a hand through his hair, Clark shook his head. "I don't understand. You say you're going to go to a clinic and pick the father of your child from a collection of frozen tubes?" He couldn't picture it. "How does that suffice for a father?"

"No, that's not quite what I had in mind. I want it to be someone that I know. A person that I know will be able to be a father figure for the child." She put both of her hands around the one of his that she held. "I want you to be my donor."

She saw a myriad of expressions flash swiftly across his face before he stood up shocked. With his back to her, she could see his suit jacket tighten as he folded his arms across his chest and began rubbing his chin.

Remaining seated, Lois began to plead her case. "Clark, you are my best friend. We have already gone through the whole getting to know you phase. You've seen my bad side... okay, my bad sides, and you're still here. I trust you more than anyone else I know, and I know that you'd make a terrific father. I can't imagine anyone else but you."

"I can't," he mumbled.

Lois stood and walked around him to see his face. "I know that this is sudden, Clark. But please, just think about it. "

As she watched, a familiar look settled on his face and she knew he was going to leave. Sighing, she grabbed his forearm. "We've gotten this far because we can always talk about anything. Don't leave, Clark. Let's talk this through... we have to come to some closure here. Don't get weird on me. Please, don't go. Not this time."

"I... I'm sorry. I can't." He said repeating himself. He looked anxiously over his shoulder, and Lois knew she'd lost him.

"Lois, I..." He started.

Lois shook her head. "Go. We'll talk later."

He ran a hand through his hair and jogged out of the park. Lois watched him leave in the fading light of the day. Turning back to the bench, she picked up her purse and walked back to the spot where she'd parked her car.

* * *

Clark stood in front of the burning remains of the building. It hadn't been an emergency where Superman was needed, but he'd heard the sirens and used the opportunity to escape. The building was an old abandoned warehouse in the old river district. He'd made sure that there were no people inside and was now taking a back seat to the trained firefighters. The building had been so dilapidated, that they'd decided to do a controlled burning of the remains. He knew he could leave at any time, but he found a strange peace that allowed him to think while staring at the bright wash of red, yellow, and orange lights flickering in front of him. 

Although mesmerized, he didn't want to call any attention to himself, so he bent his knees slightly and took off into the night sky. He was halfway to Kansas when he turned around and went in the direction of his apartment instead.

How could he explain the shocking revelation that Lois had just given him to his parents? And worse, how could he explain that a part of him wanted to consider it?

He loved Lois Lane. He was beyond fooling himself about it. He knew that his feelings for her went deeper than anything he had ever felt for anyone in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. He'd dreamed about having a family with her, but it was all wishful thinking. First, she didn't return his feelings... not that he'd ever told her about them.

'Although she seems to have some type of attraction to The Man of Steel,' he thought grudgingly. Only Lois could make someone jealous of himself.

Second, he was different. He didn't know if he was even able to have children. And she didn't know this.

'She must have had some concerns about that, or why wouldn't she have asked Superman? He is obviously her first choice, and maybe her only choice,' his mind pointed out.

He was pretty sure that she'd understand why he couldn't... artificially inseminate her. The absurdity of the thought caused him to dryly laugh aloud.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

The next week passed quickly. They both were making an effort not to be awkward with one another... well, mostly Clark was trying. Lois, having had time to think in advance of her announcement, felt better, having freed her mind.

She was nervous about what his answer would be, and stopped him whenever he tried to approach the topic. In her mind, a quick reply was like a short jury deliberation. Those were the ones that always came back with a guilty verdict. They'd had plenty to do, going through their notes from the investigation to put out their series of articles. Having a story ready for each deadline was intense, but it kept them on track.

* * *

Clark sat on the porch swing with his mother on the Kansas farm waiting for his dad to return from the hardware store. They both held glasses of Lemonade and were slightly swaying back and forth, regulated by Clark's sneaker on the deck.

"Well, I think there are some things you need to let her know about, if that's what you're thinking," Martha said quietly.

"You don't think it's a good idea do you?"

"Hon, every mother wants a happy ending for her child. We love Lois, you know that, but I don't think that this is the right choice."

"Mom, I don't know if there will ever be another choice. Lois doesn't see me as anything more than her best friend. I could be waiting forever."

"But does it seem right to bring a child into such a situation?"

"We don't even know if this would work. We don't know anything about how my body works. Who's to say that I won't grow old and die alone," he frowned, his voice choking on the last words.

Martha knew these fears from her son's youth. No matter how many friends he'd had, he could never share with them completely. This made him feel even more isolated than he really was. She also felt that he was wrong about Lois's feelings toward him.

She'd watched them the last time Clark brought Lois home for the Corn Festival. She knew that Lois was not one to confront her emotions in the same manner that she tackled an assignment. She felt that Lois probably was not even consciously aware of her feelings for her son.

Smiling, she brushed away the lock of hair that stubbornly fell in his face, as she would do when he was a child. She didn't approve of the idea of purposely having a baby out of wedlock, but this was a situation where she had to let the kids find their own way. Somehow, she felt that everything would come out okay.

"So what are you going to tell her?"

"I guess I need to tell her about Superman," he shrugged.

"And?"

Clark looked at her with a confused expression, to which Martha said, "Your feelings for her."

"I need to know that she's... well, I mean, that she has feelings for Clark not Superman, before..."

"Clark, believe it or not, you _are_ Superman. I know you are afraid to throw your feelings out there, but it is a risk. You have to be willing to accept the outcome, whether good or bad. Besides, does it really matter who said it first when you both are saying it?"

"You don't think..."

"Shhh," she smiled at his expression, and patted his knee. "You think about it. Look, Dad's back."

* * *

Clark headed back to Metropolis after dinner. His mind was still reeling from the conversation he'd had with his mother. His father had been uncharacteristically quiet on the topic when he'd asked for his opinion. Clark figured that it was his mother's influence that kept him silent.

Clark knocked on Lois' door and stepped back. After a series of clicks, the door opened, splashing a soft stream of light into the hall. Clark looked like he was ready to bolt. "Come in, Clark. Let's talk."

Lois sat down on her couch and watched as he stood near the door wringing his hands.

"Come sit down."

He stopped and looked at her. "I... I feel better standing. Lois, um, I told you that I couldn't accept your... idea, and I still can't, but I feel like I should explain something to you." He started pacing. "There are things that you don't know about me. There are things I don't know about myself..."

"I know that not knowing about your birth parents is hard, Clark, but I doubt that you need to be concerned with some strange disease or something. I mean, wouldn't it have shown some manifestation of itself by now? Besides, every pregnancy is a risk... you never know what might happen, but you deal with the outcome!"

Clark blinked at the similarity of what she was saying to his mother's response. "But that's just it. We don't know what could happen."

"So let's take a positive look at it. What if everything _did_ work out okay?"

"Then you would have a child..."

"And so would you," she replied quickly, leaning forward so her elbows rested on her thighs. She smiled, hoping that Clark's thinking would make him change his mind.

"And then one day you'd meet somebody who you would want to spend the rest of your life with. How does that change our agreement?"

"I can't say that it wouldn't happen, but I right now I can't see it happening. Come on Clark, you almost said it yourself. It would take an extraordinary person to want to come into a ready-made family."

"But he might exist! And then it's awkward because the baby has to try to deal with two fathers. Then, on top of that, the step-father may want to adopt..."

"Clark, you're getting beyond yourself here. Sure, all those things could happen, but then it could be normal... whatever your idea of normal is... we don't know the future, we just have to try it. It could turn out that _you_ are the one to find someone who you want to marry, and start a family with. Would that change your feelings about this child? No."

"I wish it were that simple."

"Clark, tell me... we can talk about it. What is it? We've covered disease, new marriages, what else is bothering you?"

Clark finally stopped pacing and approached the couch, where he sat down heavily next to Lois. "I'm not even sure I can have children, Lois."

"Don't you think it's worth a shot to find out?"

"I'm not even sure that I should have children..."

"What? You are probably _the_ one person who should! We have all kinds of crazy and evil people procreating and populating our world. Don't you think that it would benefit us all to have stable, caring people have children?"

"No. I mean yes, but that's not what I'm talking about." He turned so his body was facing her fully. "Lois, there is something about me that I haven't told you yet. I want you to know that I was going to tell you eventually. It's just, the time was never right... I know you're going to be upset, but please know that it's not because I don't trust you- because I do, with all my being."

Lois watched him curiously. She couldn't think of anything he could tell her that would cause her to be angry. 'Something, about himself?' she asked herself silently.

"Oh! You're gay!"

He coughed at her guess. "No- I think that even that would be less of a shock than what I'm about to tell you."

Kneeling before her, Clark pulled off his glasses and looked at her. He watched as her eyes narrowed when she realized that there was something about his face he wanted her to see. She brushed the stray lock of hair from his face and held it off of his forehead. Something tickled in the back of her mind, but she couldn't figure it out what it was.

"What am I looking for?"

"Superman."

Her expression turned to shock and her jaw slackened. "You're Superman's brother!"

That would explain why he was able to get all of the exclusives. It had bothered her when he first started working, but as the years passed, they'd evened out, and Superman started giving her the interviews when Clark wasn't around. Hmmm, that made the prick in the back of her mind seem more pronounced. Somehow, the explanation distilled some of the mysteries, but left others unexplained.

"No."

"Hmm. Well, not his brother. Too bad. Ok, not his brother. I would say his son, but that doesn't make much sense as he isn't old enough, not to say that we know anything about his aging patterns..."

"Lois," he said softly, breaking her stream of words.

She removed her hand from his forehead, leaving his hair with a disheveled look. "Well, that leaves..." she said as her hand slid to his chest. "...that you're him."

Clark gasped as she began unbuttoning his shirt. He was unable to control his reaction to a touch he'd been afraid to wish for; unfortunately the circumstances were not in his favor.

Lois's hands stilled as she saw the blue spandex with the golden crest. She stood suddenly and walked to the window, putting her back to him.

"Lois, please. I know that this is not what you expected, but it's one of the reasons that I know we can't do this. There is no telling what could happen if we try to mix genes here. Who's to say what the outcome would be. It could be some deformity, or disease... or worse."

He looked toward her silent figure. He couldn't tell her that the other reason he didn't want... well, couldn't do this, was because he wanted her first as his love; as his life.

She didn't respond, and she didn't give any sign that she was even listening. The lack of an outburst scared him, and he realized that he'd been prepared for her to be angry, to yell and rant; but he was not prepared for her silence. He didn't know what to do.

"I think we both have a lot to think about, and it's late, so I'm going to head home. I'll try to call you later." Then, he did what he always did when he was uncomfortable. He ran.

Lois didn't move until the door closed behind him.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

The next few weeks were full of tension, and apparently the entire newsroom was beginning to notice that something was amiss. Speculation ran rapid that the two must have had a lovers quarrel, although it was generally regarded as a joke. It was widely known that while Clark adored Lois, she in turn seemed to have a crush on Metropolis's flying superhero. After a few days, though, their odd behavior was ignored, and it became old news.

Their work, on the other hand, which was being affected negatively by their attitude, was being scrutinized by one very important person.

"Lane, my office, pronto." Perry called from his office door.

Sighing, Lois rose from her desk shooting a dirty look at Clark's empty chair. Grabbing her notepad, she headed to her boss' office.

"Perry," she said glumly as she sat down in the waiting chair across from his desk.

"Lois, I haven't heard anything from you two this week. I've seen your partner disappear, and you keep telling me he's meeting with a source, but I haven't gotten a story yet."

"It's been a slow week," she offered lamely.

"I also see that when the two of you are together, you don't seem to be communicating very well. Where's the fire? Where's my hottest reporting team? I don't know what the problem is, but fix it." Perry's voice held a finality that she was unused to being on the receiving end of. "That's all, you can go."

Lois bit her lip to keep from arguing. She felt a bit chafed by the way she was dismissed. Usually Perry was softer on her than the other staff, especially in private. She didn't understand why he was suddenly being cold. With one last look at him over her shoulder, she left the office.

"Hey, check that out!"

Lois turned in the direction of the voice, and saw that a number of reporter's were gathering around the television bay. Curious, Lois eased her way through until she was able to see the screen. A voice off-screen was reporting on the severe weather that was taking place in Eastern Missouri. The week had presented showers and thunderstorms, but with the sudden appearance of a warm front out of the west, the mixture was producing tornados. The camera was doing a close up of an estimated F4 storm cloud that was on the ground. Lois walked up just in time to watch Superman fly into the core. She could only estimate roughly that the funnel was about a mile wide.

"What does he think he's doing?" she mumbled, shocked.

As if in reply to her question, the television reporter came onto screen with bulging eyes. Although the tornado was obviously far enough away from the news crew where they were out of danger, the reporter's hair was flapping wildly in the wind. "We just got news of what Superman was going after. As you know, the storm hit quite fast, and many people in this area, who thought the beginning signs were another thunderstorm, were left scrambling for cover at the last possible minute. We want to reiterate that these funnels are incredibly hard to plot when they've become grounded. This is the fourth hit we've encountered in the last 30 minutes. This particular duster took a sharp turn in this area and seems to have snatched a child neatly from his mother's arms."

The reporter paused as he put a hand over his ear, trying to hear the new information he was being given from the dispatcher. "It has been confirmed that the child, in fact is a 21 month old boy. The rest of the family is reported to be fine, although suffering from an extent of injuries, and terribly worried, without a doubt. "

The camera zoomed back in on the twister. "I have never seen anything like this in my life!" the reporter added.

Lois thought she saw a flash of blue and bit the corner of her lower lip. She'd never felt nervous for Superman before, but somehow the knowledge that he was actually 'plain old Clark' made it all seem closer to home. Her mind told her that he couldn't get hurt, but her heart, which felt like it was lodged in her throat, was telling her a different story. She bleakly thought about the mother who's child had been literally ripped from her arms. As she watched the funnel rip through everything in its path, she knew there was little chance of survival, especially as more time passed by.

"Wait, I think I see something," the television voice announced. Sure enough, the camera swung to the right and focused on a grit-covered Superman exiting the debris holding something protectively in his arms. As if the loss of its tenants had removed its fuel, the wind stopped turning, and debris fell from the sky in erratic paths. As the camera focused in on the superhero as he was flying, Lois noticed the blood on his crest and the pained look on his face. Her heart fell as she realized that the blood was from the baby.

"This is an absolutely amazing story. I can't tell you what the outcome will be on this one," the reporter concluded, watching the sky. "I'd hate to speculate on this, but the effort that was put out into getting to the child was just incredible."

As Superman left the view of the camera, the television picture switched to show scenes of damage in the surrounding areas. The newsroom community began to migrate back to their desks, many discussing what they had just seen and talking about other memorable natural disasters.

* * *

Lois sat on the couch in the dark. She hadn't turned on the lights when she came in, and the only light in the room came from the moon through the large balcony window, whose curtains were fully parted. She'd stayed at work late, doing more introspection than anything else. She would type for a few minutes, stop, and then erase the entire piece. Every so often she would glance in the direction of the TV bay, trying to piece together the fragments of information that she could hear.

The sound of something softly hitting the balcony floor brought her attention to the moonlit area. The glass door slid open and she watched as a weary blue-clad figure stepped inside. Obviously not expecting anyone to be in his apartment, Clark didn't notice the extra presence. Lois' jaw dropped as her eyes followed him as he crossed the landing, spun out of his suit, which he left in a heap on the floor, and walking naked into the bathroom. She heard the water begin in the shower, and then soften as he stepped in the spray. Still amazed, she walked over and picked up the suit, bringing it back to the couch.

Dropping her load on the couch as she sat, she felt the formality of the truth settling in her stomach. The past few weeks had slowly allowed the idea of her partner being Superman resolve into her consciousness. Her emotions had ranged from angry, to sad, to hurt, to sympathetic; never stopping on one feeling long enough for her to act on it. Watching him in action earlier today had helped to bring all of those emotions to a head. She hadn't expected the whole 'spin' thing though.

The water stopped and Clark emerged from the bathroom looking like the tousled man she knew, although his face seemed bare without his glasses. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and he bent to pick up his suit, which was no longer there. Confused, he reached to turn on the living room light from a nearby switch. Immediately, he looked at her, and she was startled by the aggrieved look his eyes held.

"Lois, how'd..." He stopped, and shot her a brief grin when he realized whom he was talking to.

"Clark, I'm sorry for barging in, but I was hoping we could talk."

"Sure, um, just a minute," he said, gesturing at his towel.

He came back in a gray Tee shirt and faded cotton sweatpants. Walking to the couch, he picked up the suit and took it to the hamper. When he came back, he sat in the loveseat across from Lois.

"Lois," he started softly.

"I saw what you did today." To this announcement, he rubbed his chin and looked away.

"You were fantastic," she added. "It was amazing."

He looked up grimly. "There should never be that much blood coming from a baby. Tornados don't suck people up, y'know. They blow. The wind was so strong that he was being tossed..." He stopped as disconcerting images flooded his memory.

Caught by his look and his tone, Lois stood and squatted in front of his seat, taking one of his hands in both of hers. "He's going to make it."

To his unbelieving look, she put a hand on the side of his face, and said, "It's true. I called. I knew you would want to know. He's a strong little guy, and you saved him from the worst. He's going to pull through."

He looked relieved and squeezed her hand. "They gave all that information to a reporter?"

"I have my ways," she said standing and assuming a nonchalant pose, which she broke after a second.

She grinned down at her partner. "I've missed you," she said softly, sitting back down on the couch.

"And I've missed you," he replied, unable to express what he really felt. "Even when you didn't know about me, you always helped me come down to earth. You're like my touchstone. Thank you..."

Lois waved her hand in a dismissing gesture. "Listen, I still want to do it. I still want to have a child."

Clark's brow creased again. A small part of him was rejoicing, and was urging him to give in, but a larger voice took over. He sighed heavily.

"Oh, yeah, sure, that's perfect. Perfect, right. You want to have Superman's baby. I told you before! I can't, we can't, I just... can't! Ok?"

In an ironic twist, Lois found herself being the calm one in the midst of an argument. "No, Clark. Not Superman's baby. Yours."

"Ah!" He said sarcastically, leaning back into the sofa. "But you understand that it's not one without the other- so how can you manage that one!"

"I know it's been a rough day for you, Clark, but I think you need to relax and listen. You're trying to confuse me and you're just making yourself angry. Relax... please."

He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly, but looked at her expectantly. "It's not possible. Why beat a dead horse?"

"You don't know that. And I will not accept your cover up of an excuse just because you are scared."

Clark's face flickered with a surprised look before he hardened it once again.

Lois took a breath and leaned forward. "I think I am the one who is supposed to be angry and hysterical here. Okay, listen Clark," she sighed. "When you first told me about... you know who," she moved her hand in a flying motion. "I was angry. But mostly I was hurt."

"Lois..."

"Let me finish. Your being secretive with me hurt me, while we've been best friends for a year now; or at least that's what I thought. But later, I started to look deeper. I know your parents. I know you. Even though I didn't know everything, I knew your heart. I realize now that the biggest issue that I have to deal with is my own embarrassment."

"What do you mean?"

"What I was really angry about was the fact that I've known you for over two years, and never figured it out. All the disappearances; all the exclusives with Superman. What it all boils down to is the fact that it was always right here, under my nose: the biggest investigation in the world. I can read anybody, but with you- the truth was so apparent that I missed it. I've put my life into my investigative reporting skills- and they failed me. My life's work amounted to nothing."

"That's not true!"

"Hold on, I'm not finished. That was how I felt then, but I'm not so dramatic now. Sure, it's embarrassing, but it's always harder to find somebody that doesn't want to be found. Besides, that was only the first part. What's worse than that is the way I threw myself at Superman..."

At Clark's confused look she continued. "My feelings for him... you... weren't real. And I realized that. See, Superman wasn't real. He couldn't belong to anyone because he belonged to the world."

Feeling nervous talking about her feelings, she stood and started pacing. "It was a safe game for me. I have had some insecurities about my romances, and well, putting all my dreams in a figurehead was safe because I knew it would never be acted on. On the other hand, as it was publicly known that I was in 'pursuit' of Superman, I didn't have to deal with anyone trying to date me, or fall in love with me, or... hurt me, because they wouldn't dare try to top the legend."

"But then you found out that he was real, and you had to face up to those insecurities." Clark remarked softly, understanding.

Lois looked at him and nodded. "The truth is that it was you all the time, and now I can see why you never responded! At this point, it's beyond embarrassment, it's total humiliation, and I can't blame anyone but myself."

She turned away from him and started pacing again. Clark sunk lower into his seat in defeat. He wanted to kick himself for putting her through this. Now, she was feeling overly exposed, and convinced she knew the reason Superman wasn't attracted to her. It was the furthest thing from the truth, but the truth was something he couldn't tell her.

"The fact that you never held it over my head, or let it ruin our partnership is... it went against every feeling I was trying to call up to hate you. Then I saw you on TV today, and it all fell into place. No matter what, you are my best friend, maybe the only one I've ever had, and I can't imagine you not being around. I want you around. You. Superman or not. Besides, now that he's not such a mystery, the appeal has faded," she teased.

Clark smiled with her, but somewhere inside he felt a loss. Even though he'd told himself and his parents that he wished Lois wasn't head over heels for Superman, it was a sign that she was attracted to him on some level. Now, there was no hope.

"After what Lucy and I went through growing up, I decided to never have children. I mean, I report on the news every day. I see the violence and the corruption. The longer I worked, the worse it seemed to get." She smiled at him before continuing. "At least until this incredible man flew into our lives. Why would anyone want to bring a child into this world? There is so much pain that we can't protect them from. For a long time, the decision felt right. To myself I would say, 'Look at your mother,' and that would be enough. Her example would just lead to a disaster if I tried."

She waved at Clark to stop the comment that she knew he was about to insert. "The thing is, it's really cowardice. I've always felt this call on my life to expose the truth, to somehow make a difference by allowing the people to make decisions based on the cold hard facts. No deception. That was... is, the goal. But, through it all, in the matters that were closest to my heart, I've been deceiving myself. Somewhere, in the midst of the violence and pain, something has got to change. If we all sit back and watch it happening around us, ignoring it and refusing to get involved, then we all suffer. The only way to change anything is to get involved."

Lois sighed as she tried to formulate her thoughts into words. "Yeah, my own family life was crazy, but then I say to myself, 'Look at Clark's mother,' and I know that it doesn't have to turn out bad. I used to focus on the bad, all while expecting worse. Working with you over the years, I have started to see things differently. Expecting better from the world around me... from myself. I don't know why it is so important for me have a child right now. Somehow, it just feels like the right time... and if you even dare mentioning some inane biological clock, I swear I will hurt you, invulnerability and all!"

After making sure that her glare and threat had been taken seriously, she continued her explanation. "I don't know the future. I don't know how all of this would turn out. I do know, now, that I can be a good mother, because I want to be. Maybe I'm not making any sense, but I think it's better to have a child when you want to... really want to, and are ready for the challenge, then some other time when it would seem like a burden," she finished, quietly.

"So, I'm asking you to help me do this. To be the donor... No, to be the father of my baby." She stopped pacing and watched him from where she stood, a few feet away.

"Lois, I..." Lois quickly closed the distance, standing in front of his seat and picking up his hand from his lap. She wasn't going to let him say no.

"Clark, this is important to me, and I know that it's important to you. You want children; you just don't think that it can happen. You owe it to yourself to at least try. Deep down inside you know you want to. I've seen it your eyes before, I saw it tonight- and I see it now."

"There could be drastic complications," he replied, knowing that his opposition was losing ground.

"Or, nothing could go wrong."

He looked at their joined hands and said, "It would just be putting you in danger."

Seeing he needed reassurance, Lois climbed onto his lap and hugged him.

"There's danger everywhere, but we don't stop going outside. We can handle this, together. We'll take it one step at a time."

Clark sighed and put his arms around her to return the embrace. "Okay."

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

"I don't want to be in the way, they came to see you..." Lois said entering the elevator as they were leaving the Daily Planet for the evening. 

"Lois, part of the reason they came is because they want to spend some time with you. You know my parents, don't be nervous."

"Why'd you have to tell them? I'm not telling my parents, and we agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone until we knew something!"

Clark turned and rubbed her arms. He knew she was just feeling nervous, and didn't mean anything against his folks. "They knew before we even decided to try this. You know that. Relax. They just want to see you, that's all. And, yes, we agreed not to tell anyone, but you should think about telling your parents. The baby would be a part of them too."

"Clark, we talked about my parents. I don't want them ruining this. We'll tell them if it works."

The elevator opened and he released her.

"Well, let's go. Dad said they'd meet us at the restaurant."

When they arrived at Marcel's, Clark held the door open for Lois to enter ahead of him.

"I'm underdressed," she said, stepping past him.

"You look fine. This is a casual restaurant." He crossed in front of her to speak to the hostess, who in turn smiled and gestured for them to follow her.

At the table, Clark bent to kiss his Mother on the cheek in greeting.

"Son, where's Lois?" Jonathan asked.

Surprised, he turned around to the spot where she should have been standing. He noticed her walking toward the restroom. "She's a little nervous. She'll be back in a minute."

"Nervous?" Martha asked. "But whatever for? We've all had dinner together before."

"I guess she feels unsure since things have changed. Y'know, now that she knows about," Clark made a sweeping gesture with his hand. "And she knows that you don't approve with the, uh, donor thing."

"Who said we didn't approve?" Martha asked. Clark looked helplessly at his father, who looked back expectantly.

"You... do approve?" He asked bewildered.

"Your Mother and I want the best for you. Somehow we just felt that you'd have a family the old fashioned way. We can see how you feel about Lois. I just don't want you hanging on if she can't return it."

"There are lots of things that are important when you want to have a child. You have to be stable yourself because a new baby added to any relationship knocks things off-balance," Martha added.

"Mom, we are just gonna try. It could be nothing, but I feel like I can help her here, where no one else can..."

"Sweetie, you need to be honest with her and let her know how you really feel, and you need to be honest with yourself. Now, here comes Lois. Let's make her feel welcome boys," Martha finished, standing to give Lois a hug when she arrived at the table.

* * *

Once they'd made the decision to proceed with their 'project', they had to go through the details. Not ready to expose themselves to anyone yet, they'd gone to consult Dr. Klein on the ability of Superman to impregnate a woman, using the cover that they were doing a story on a woman who claimed to have had Superman's love child. 

Dr. Klein was suspicious at first, thinking that a story like that would be an item of a lower rate paper, but dropped it when he figured that these two were involved because the subject was their good friend.

"This is not my area of expertise, but I have done some venturing into gene splicing technology. That doesn't help you much, because it really comes into play after knowing that fertilization can take place and by then taking into account the match of DNA and RNA in the two gametes. Normally we look to do that when we are treating some type of deficiency. This involves using Restriction Enzymes to select the specific piece of the DNA helix strand and... oh, sorry. I tend to get excited. Anyway, you'll want to know what I've found out, yes?"

Lois shot an amused look at Clark, who just shrugged and nodded in Dr. Klein's direction.

"Well, from the tests that Superman allowed us to take on his sperm cells," Lois raised her eyebrows at Clark, whose ears seemed to be turning red.

Not noticing the exchange, the doctor continued, "...And from what he's told me about his development, we really wouldn't be able to see any true manifestation of ultra human properties for years. Probably not even making an appearance until the point of full maturity, but we can't be sure. Basically, a child fathered by the hero would be no different than any other baby, and its birth would be handled in the same manner as any other human child. If these genes prove to be recessive, which is likely, its possible that the powers and extra abilities would never surface."

Scratching some notes onto her notepad, Lois asked, "Is it possible that a birth could take place in a hospital facility and not be recognized as having a non-human genetic makeup?"

"Well, yes, that is entirely possible. In fact the child could be serviced by a regular pediatrician, and probably would only have an increased healthy disposition. If anything were to cause any special attention, it would just be the general lack of disease and infection. Although, at that age the child would have normal vulnerabilities, its immune system would probably be better equipped."

* * *

Their conversation with Dr. Klein had left them optimistic, so they'd taken the next step, and went to the reproductive medicine clinic. They'd spent weeks pouring over colorful tri-fold brochures, trying to finalize a plan of attack. They found themselves spending even more time together, each reassuring the other at times. 

Because they would meet in the mornings before work, Clark started coming over earlier to cook breakfast while Lois showered and dressed. After a while, she gave him her spare key, so she wouldn't have to let him in. When they had time, they did lunch together, and after work, they had dinner at one of their apartments.

Along with the help of Lois's physician at the clinic, they'd decided to go ahead with the GIFT method. The GIFT (Gamete Intrafallopian Transfer) was thought to be their best chance, as it basically replicated the natural fertilization process. Both donors had gamete samples removed, and then pairs were inserted into the Mother's fallopian tubes, where the sperm would then fertilize the egg. Since there were no detected issues with their health or ability to reproduce, this seemed to have great possibilities, and it was the method that had the highest percentage of success.

* * *

Perry watched the duo walk into the newsroom. Things between them had gotten better, and everything was coming back together like he liked it. He sighed in relief and turned to go back to his desk. He was glad that he wouldn't have to have another talk with Lois. The last one had been hard enough. His heart had wanted to pull her in for a bear hug, but he knew that the situation called for a sterner approach. He was happy it hadn't backfired. 

"Lois, we knew this might happen," Clark said as she sat down at her desk.

She could see in his eyes that he was feeling as bad as she was. "Let's not talk about it right now, okay?"

Unfortunately, they had just returned from the clinic with bad news. The egg hadn't been fertilized. This was actually the third time in as many months that they'd tried this method, and had grown weary.

It was late in the afternoon, but the newsroom was still bustling with activity. Clark pulled a chair next to Lois's and sat down. Locking onto her gaze, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Lois was too tired to argue with him, knowing that he was trying to take the blame for the procedure not working. She was tired of the sterile white rooms. She was tired of the poking and prodding. And she was tired of spreading her legs to cold hands.

"Maybe we should stop," he said quietly, and she could hear in his voice that he was tired too.

They had decided that they would not take the risk of letting the clinic harvest any extra samples of their cells. It was too risky. There were far too many expose's surfacing about fertilization clinics using spare gametes for other purposes. The downside of it was that they had to go through the entire process from the beginning each time they tried.

Lois felt defeat seep into her shoulders and couldn't stop the sole silent tear that trailed from her eye. "Yeah. I hate to give up, but I think you're right."

"Maybe we just need to give it some time." Clark said sadly, as he watched her wipe the tear and close her eyes briefly to regain her composure. He leaned in slowly and they pressed their foreheads together in a moment of shared grief.

"Here, let me hurry and type up our notes so we can go."

She nodded and said, "I'm going to go get some water. You want anything?"

He shook his head and headed to his desk where he signed on to his computer and began typing.

* * *

"Oh, Honey. We're so sorry," Martha said sympathetically, after listening to Clark's recount of the day's events. "Do you and Lois want to come here for the weekend?" 

Clark was sitting in the window seat at Lois's apartment, talking on his cell phone to his parents. As soon as they walked in the door, Lois had excused herself to the bathroom. She'd been silent on the drive back to her place, and Clark knew she was near the edge both physically and mentally. The warmth of the sunlight coming through the window was helping to ease the tension in his shoulders.

"No, I think it would be best if we just stay put for a while, but I'll see if she wants to take some time in a couple of weeks."

"How are you holding up?" Jonathan asked from the other extension.

"It's rough," his voice trailed off and his parents could hear him talking to someone in the room.

"Clark, give the phone to Lois. I want to talk to her," his mother interjected.

"Hi Martha," a soft voice said after a few seconds.

Clark moved over to give her room to sit down.

"Hi Sweetie, Jonathan's here too."

"You're gonna be okay, kiddo," Jonathan said. "I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you. Don't let this take you under. You're a fighter. You have a vibrant sprit and you just have to know that while things don't always happen like you want them to, somehow it all turns out better than you expected. Martha and I know what it's like."

Lois was a bit taken aback from the small speech coming from a man who usually said very little. Feeling a complexity of emotions, she could only utter a small "Thank you, Jonathan."

"All right. That said, I'm going to hang up now and let you two women talk. Besides, Martha is waving her hand at me, and I am guessing that's my cue. I love you, Lois."

Her eyebrows shot up in further surprise. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard anyone say those words to her meaningfully. Okay, well she and her sister exchanged it when they were talking on the phone, but she would have never expected it from Clark's parents. She glanced at Clark, who was watching her face quizzically, not knowing what was being said on the phone.

"Lois, what he said goes for the both of us, and I hope you know that. Now I know that you're probably feeling overwhelmed, and knowing you, you are trying not to confront your feelings, but you're going to have to let yourself grieve. You both do."

"I'm ok Martha, really. We knew that we might have trouble before we even started. I mean, today was a little worse, because it was the third time and all, but that was hours ago. If it was meant to be..."

"Lois, stop. You don't have to convince me, and telling yourself this is not going to convince you. I know how excited you were about this. I know about the courage it took for you to go back a second, and then a third time."

Lois choked back a sob and didn't reply. Clark, seeing her face wrench, lifted a hand helplessly in her direction, not knowing what to do, and finally just started stroking her hair softly.

"It's ok to feel what you are feeling. No matter what, the worst thing you can do is to isolate yourself. You are not alone in this. I know my boy is doing his best to hide what he is feeling too. The two of you are alike in so many ways, you know. Don't sit there and try to figure out what you did wrong. There is no answer there. It wasn't anything that you did or did not do. Just give it time."

"I don't think there is another time," Lois mumbled.

"Lois, I have been sitting back all this time, watching the two of you, and I have kept my peace, because a mother has to let her children take their steps. But I can't sit back and let you suffer when you don't have to. Let me tell you what I see. You're very protective of your heart, and that's a good way to be, but if you overdo it, the walls you build start to imprison you as much as they protect you. This was a step for you in trying to break free. To love someone else, and to be loved in return."

Lois stood and began to walk to the other side of the room, leaving Clark's comforting touches behind. "That wasn't my reason for wanting a baby," she said with a hint of defiance.

"That's not what I meant, and that's not who I meant, either."

"But it's not like that! He... we..." Lois pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear and turned her back to where Clark was sitting.

"I know all about the Superman thing. I'm also pretty sure that you were confused about some feelings before that." Martha urged, quietly.

"How?" Lois was shocked that this woman could pick up on something that she had just begun to admit to herself.

"The way you two have been looking at each other when you didn't think the other one would see. Every time we are all together, it's obvious."

"But, he said..."

"Did he? Are you sure? Look in his eyes Lois."

In fact, she couldn't remember if he'd said anything. She remembered what she'd said; about knowing why Superman didn't respond to her. It was because she was his best friend... like his sister, right? She turned to glance at Clark, who was watching her with a distressed look. Meaning to just look briefly, Lois was caught in the vigor of feeling that he was unconsciously showing.

Choking back another sob, she turned away quickly, feeling her heart constrict with profound emotion. "But why now? Why not then?"

Martha sighed, feeling slightly relieved that they would have to face up to this now. "I told you that you both were alike, and like you, he's scared. He's still my little boy inside. All his life he's lived with a secret, and now he doesn't know how to live without it. His father and I are the only people who he knows love him for who he truly is... Okay, now Jonathan's waving at me, and that's _my_ signal. You'll both be fine. Take care, and tell Clark to bring you to see us soon."

Lois stared at the silent phone in her hand, unwilling to turn around and face her partner. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, the tears spilled out of her eyes and she slowly sank to the floor. Clark was at her side instantly, aching to see her on her knees looking so devastated. He moved to help her up, but she showed no interest in moving. Her tears were silent, but the ragged breaths she was taking hinted that she wasn't going to be able to control it much longer.

Sitting on the floor himself, with his back against the wall, he pulled her into his arms as if she were a small child. With her head against his shoulder, she whimpered and held on to his waist, shuddering with sobs. Hot tears began running down his face as well, and there was nothing he could do to stop them.

A while later, Lois's breathing got deeper as she calmed, and Clark moved to get up. Lois shook her head and said, "No. Not yet."

Clark looked down into her red eyes, and sighed. "If we could go back..."

"No," she repeated. "Don't say it. I'm glad we took the risk."

"But if I wasn't... All my life, I've just wanted to be normal, to be able to have a family, friends, and even kids. Instead, I have these powers, these great powers that allow me to do great things, except I have no power to do anything to control my own life. It's like the choice was made for me- and I can't stop being who I am, even for what I love."

"That's just it, Clark." Lois shifted her position so she could look at him directly. "None of us can control what happens in our lives. There are always some things that we can't do, or that circumstances don't allow, but our desire and strength to keep living is what makes us... survivors. I wouldn't change you for anything. The way you help and care for other people. The way you love your parents. The way you make me feel. If this is something less than an ordinary life, I don't mind. I don't want it any other way."

"Lois, there is something I need to tell you, and I don't know how you're going to feel after that, but..."

"I know."

He continued, knowing she couldn't possibly know what he was going to say. "I feel I owe it to you to give you the truth. Since the first day we met, my heart has been drawn to you, even though I tried to convince myself otherwise. As we've gotten to know each other better, it skips a beat every time you walk into a room. To hold you like this overwhelms me: I feel so complete, but I know that I'll have to let you go."

Lois covered her mouth with her hand. She had guessed his feelings when she saw him looking at her, but the depth of emotion that he was expressing, touched her.

"The way you treated Superman made me crazy," he continued. "Knowing that I really wanted to grab you and respond, but knowing how you really felt about the true me stopped me. I was supposed to be your best friend, your brother, but there was no way I could love you freely as one person and remain hidden as another. I was jealous of myself; if that is even possible. I guess, if we could go back to start this again, I'd have to do what my parents said. I would tell you then, how much I loved you. How much I love you now."

"Clark, I..."

"Lois, it's ok. I mean... I don't expect anything. I just needed to tell you."

Lois sat silently looking at her hands. Finally she looked up with one brow slightly raised. Clark didn't know what to make of the expression on her face.

"Are you done?" she asked.

"What!"

"Are you finished? Because, I want to say something now, and I don't want you to interrupt me. It's hard enough as it is."

At his nod, she continued, with a small smile, "What I was going to say was that I think I feel the same way."

Clark started to open his mouth, but she put a hand on is chest and shook her head. "I think that I am starting to understand... through all of this," she waved her hand in a circle in the air. "And for some time before that. I think I was beginning to realize how much you meant to me. The way I can't wait to see you again when we're apart."

She picked up his hand and interlaced her fingers with his. "The time we have spent together through this has made me see that I can't let you go. It scares me how much I love you."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing, and to reassure himself that it was real, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Inhaling in her scent, he felt tears filling his eyes again. This time they weren't from grief, but from the promise that he was seeing replace his gloomy vision of a future of solitude.

Leaning into him, Lois drew from his strength, courage, and love. Breathlessly breaking the embrace, she put both hands on the sides of his face, using her thumbs to wipe away the threatening tears. Without a word, she tipped her head as he gently pulled her closer for a tender kiss.

_

* * *

_**

* * *

Epilogue**

Lois and Clark agreed to explore the experience of being in love. They started scheduling real dates, and Lois was always pleased to find a different flower on her nightstand each morning. The surprise of their colleagues at work eventually wore off, and a certain editor indulged himself in a small two-step dance behind his closed office door. Clark's parents remained the only other people to know about the attempt at having a child. Although they never mentioned trying it again during the few times they talked about it, Martha didn't stop sewing little outfits in the evenings. With a wink and smile in Jonathan's direction, she merely said, "There's one more method they have left to try... and I think it'll work!"

**

* * *

****

* * *

**

**Fin.**


End file.
